Reese Witherspoon, Spokeswoman for Sure Deodorant

Do you remember those commercials for Sure deodorant? Sure? Unsure? Sure? Unsure? Reese looks pretty unsure here and awfully drab. Gray is not her color. But it certainly fits her mood. Reese needs a man and a makeover. She should date Jack Nicholson.

Lady Jennifer Aniston’s Confidante

Is Courteney Cox-Arquette see-through blouse look still in? It looks tacky to us. However, she is never tacky acting. Always a class act, she adores getting her picture taken much like Norma Desmond.

Ashley Olsen, Stunning in All Black

This is the best Ashley Olsen has ever looked. Sources tell us that Lindsay Lohan once called the Olsen twins “trolls” when they were competing for Jared Leto’s affections in the summer of 2005. Now we wonder what the Olsens are calling Lindsay.

“The Hills” Heidi Montag & her fiance Spencer Pratt at Wednesday hotspot Les Deux

What an adorable couple! Heidi Montag has the sweetest smile this side of Tinseltown. Here she is with her hunky paramour Spencer Pratt. What a name! It belongs in a Bret Easton Ellis novel. Sources say that the couple were very touchy-feely all night long in front of Heidi’s catty co-stars Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge. Hollywood romance is not for the faint of heart.

Sisters are Doing it for Themselves!!! Shar Jackson, Marla Maples & Angie Everhart

Move over “The First Wives Club.” There’s new girls in town. Shar Jackson, Marla Maples and Angie Everhart, stars of the ABC show “Ex-Wives Club” painted the town red last night when they hit…you guessed it…Mr. Chow. They all look absolutely incredible. What kind of morons would leave these smart, sexy, sassy women? Weak men don’t like strong women. Their loss.